For the Right Reasons

Living with a newborn is not the easiest (fun...yes, easy...nay). Sleeping in the same room doesn't make it any easier. Since my sister's mother-in-law, Susan, is staying with her until her husband gets home she gets the guest room, which leaves me sharing a room with Emily and sweet baby Sam. Don't get me wrong this isn't me complaining for a second! I really do love it. It gives me stories and memories I'll have for a lifetime. Not only that, Susan does so much during the day, she deserves a night of sleep. This is also the best form of birth control for myself. Uhhh...true. Lately, we've been going through 1-2 hour sleeps throughout the night so the exhaustion just kinda follows you around. 

In attempts to combat the exhaustion/get me out of the house, I meet with a trainer once a week. This past Wednesday was supposed to be one of those days, however it started rough. That morning I woke up twenty minutes before my session, and ended up being ten minutes late. I'm kind of a freak about being punctual, so this already put me in an aggravated mood. When I got there, my trainer decided to tell me he forgot the gym keys. Well there was that. I woke up late and tired, AND I wasn't gonna get in the workout I wanted. There was only one thing I needed: Target. 

On my way home I stopped there thinking I would just kinda walk around and see if anything caught my eye. I went to the book section and saw that they had "For the Right Reasons" by Sean Lowe. Emily, a huge Bachelor fan, was all about Sean and Catherine. I had seen that the book was out and was interested so I decided, eh, why not?! I have the time, and I want a good read. So I bought it. 

Let me say this, there are few books that I have just sat and read without any distractions. This book was one of them. I started the minute I got home, continued in the car waiting to pick up the little girl I nanny, at the dinner table, in bed. I read it in about two days. Don't get me wrong, the fact that it's not a hard read or a long book helped, but there was also something about Sean's story that was so captivating to me. I honestly think it's because a lot of what his life was is what I feel like I am going through currently. Transition. Oh the dreaded transition.

I never made this known to people, but a main reason I decided to come to California was because I had just gotten out of a complicated relationship. This guy and I had been seeing each other for about a year, but never made anything official. That alone took a really huge emotional toll on me. Then I found out there was another girl in the picture and that didn't help matters. I was ready to go all in with this guy. I always urged him to just believe in us, believe in the love he had for me, and that was it! He spoke sweet nothings to me, and I believed every second of it. Anyways, enough about him. During that year, my relationship with God went from subpar, to a constant conversation. I don't necessarily enjoy the fact that I had to go through heartbreak to really lean on Him, but I believe it is what I needed to reconnect.

Reading Sean's story gave me such a renewed sense of hope. One that had been dwindling, and I wasn't sure how to get it back. He touched on past relationships and why they didn't work out; how he found himself in a super huge lull before going on the Bachelorette; and how Christ was the constant throughout it all. The book helped me to open my eyes on life, and love. Okaaay, I know what you're thinking. It's silly that this girl is learning life lessons from a pretty boy Bachelor. And it's true, I thought the same thing. But this pretty boy bachelor actually has a lot of wisdom if you open yourself up to it. Through his stories, I learned you can't force someone to love you. You can't meet them halfway (which was my number one mistake). You need to be confident in what you want, and not settle for less. I also learned I am doing nothing wrong in the least about putting my confidence and hope in the Lord, knowing that He in the end will provide the desires and happinesses of my heart. My absolute favorite part of the book was the prayer Sean would pray everyday going to work. He would pray, "'God, you know I don't want to live a normal life. If this is your will--if you really want me to sell insurance--I'll do it. But there has to be more.'" There is no doubt Sean found his more. 

When I came to California I thought I would find adventure, and a future, but I truly believe I found something much greater; myself. It's exciting to be able to say I am finally confident in who I am, and it's okay to still be searching for my more. 

Now here's my plug: If you're looking for a fun, easy read; something inspirational; a quirky love story, look no further! For the Right Reasons is all of that in one. 

Honestly, the only time I looked up