Change...What is it Good For? Maybe Actually Something???

For those that know me, you all know one thing is for pretty darn certain, change is indeed NOT my middle name. I remember one instance in particular, I was about six or seven and my dad and stepmom decided to start house hunting. We were looking at different houses one day, and I immediately shut down. I "grew up" in the house they wanted to sell (please Soph....you were seven and just really loved the pool in the backyard) how could they do this?! I remember my stepmom pulling me aside asking me what was wrong and I had heard the phrase before "I just don't like change." So I said just that knowing she couldn't get angry with my attitude. She sympathized with me and told me everything would be okay. Fast forward five years when my mom and stepdad got married. Guess who wasn't a fan *insert purple shirt emoji girl* why not? "I just didn't like change." I was hardwired at a young age to be terrified of the idea simply because I had heard a phrase and it sounded like the easiest way out of new, scary (in my immediate opinion) situations.

About a year and a half ago, my sweet friend Taylor lent me a book titled "Girl Meets Change" by Kristen Strong. I was going through some transitions, moving back to Austin, entering the work field, living and supporting myself and boy did I think I had met the pinnacle of changes. I started to read the book and for some reason my heart just was not in it. I couldn't get into it too much and wasn't exactly sure why.

Let's fast forward again. This time to May 2016 (yes it's been forever since I opened this pretty little blog). I was driving home to San Antonio from Austin for the weekend and decided to take the Hill Country route. Less traffic, pretty scenery, less traffic...sign me up. I decided to turn off the radio and just have a nice long talk with God. I was at a good spot in life. I had not one, but two fantastic jobs surrounded by people that absolutely loved me and appreciated me, I had friends that evolved into family and gave me all the support in the world, I was in a city that couldn't fit my lifestyle, and my personality more perfectly, and yet I was stuck; something didn't feel right. I asked Him to speak to me; to give me some sort of sign that I wasn't just feeling crazy. "Lord, you know what is in my heart, and you will lead me in the right direction. I believe in You, and I trust in You." I put on a song by a worship group that I had just been introduced to called Here as in Heaven by Elevation Worship. The song begins:

The atmosphere is changing now 

For the spirit of the Lord is here

The evidence is all around 

For the spirit of the Lord is here

I knew He was with me, in my car, on that ride, wanting to open up my heart and eyes and truly speak to me. The song continued on, and out of no where I began to absolutely ball and at the time I didn't understand why.

Spirit of God fall fresh on us

We need Your presence

Your kingdom come

Your will be done
Here as in heaven

For months I had toyed with the idea of going back to school. I was missing the world of athletic training, but thought surely that time in my life was over. Going back to school, meant moving, either to a different city or state and I couldn't do that. My life was figured out in Austin. **PSA: I'm actually an idiot for thinking I had my life figured out in my early twenties. HAH!**

Your will be done. Your will be done. Your will be done.
It echoed with me with the rest of the ride, I realized I was crying not because I was sad, but because I knew I was avoiding His direction the whole time and a huge CHANGE was about to come. I was going back to school, I was going to have to move. And I was scared, af. (that's what the cool kids say).

In January of 2017, I made one of the biggest decision I knew of thus far. I quit my job. I spiraled myself into the unknown world of unemployment to prepare for going back to school come June. Along with teaching bootcamps, I began nannying (for the most amazing family might I add), weekend babysitting, dogsitting, any odd job...you name it. I hustled my way to June. I kept up with my bills (by the absolute grace), was still able to maintain a social life, be my best friends maid of honor (even gracier) AND planned a move to Arlington, Texas where I would begin a Masters Program in Athletic Training.

The first Friday of June, with the help of my roommates, packed up a majority my room and on that Saturday I loaded up my car and headed north on 35. But just before I left, I looked at our bookshelf and saw that little green book staring at me; Girl Meets Change. I smiled, picked it up, and added it to my book bag. Ya'll let me tell you....I thought I met change two years ago. Living a life of employment, comfort, direction, nay. Six months ago I didn't just meet change. I dove head first in the pretty little word, and although I can't say I am 100% comfortable with the little sucker, I have come to terms with the fact that with love, support, and encouragement...it may actually be good for something.

"I must be continually ready to give up the parts of my life that God wants to replace with trust in Him, even if what I need to give up are my own expectations and continual need to be in the driver's seat of my life."                                                                      -Girl Meets Change, Kristen Strong
           
                         

Here goes nothing! ...or maybe a whole lot of something 

A quick view of my actually having downtime for once

Playing Catch Up!

My, my...where the heck has all the time gone?! It's been a solid five/six months since I've written a post. Remember that time when I was so gung-ho about blogging? Yeah me too, when all was stress free and relaxing living by the beaches of San Diego and nannying for money I got to save, while cuddling with a sweet two month old nephew. Well, as it turns out, my time in San Diego fell short (too soon to which my sister would say 'I told you so!'). I ended up getting a job back in Austin with the help of one of my best friends at a local gym, so I figured moving back home would be the best decision.

About a month into being in San Diego I began feeling homesick. Yes, I loved being there with my sister and nephew, but I missed my friends, my apartment, my Austin. My friend Blaire gave me a call saying she had a job that I would love waiting for me and I thought, that's it! It's a sign I should be back in Austin. So I ran with it. I decided I would give myself a little more time in California, and then I would venture back to Texas.

And then the day came where I had to say a awful "see you later" to Emily, Susan, and sweet Sammy. It was without a doubt the hardest thing I ever had to do. Honestly, people at the airport probably thought someone died, that's how hard I was crying. And I really never stopped for the next five days.

The job I landed in Austin, wasn't awful. It wasn't great either. I ended up working in sales which through me for a looooop! Note to self: you do not take after father in the area of sales. It wasn't what I thought it would be, therefore I missed California, and my family that much more. Part of me thought I should move back, and another thought I should stick it out and just keep going. Muscle through, Soph, you can do it!

I spent a lot of my time venting with friends and family (for which I'm much grateful for) and a TON of time praying. The next three months of moving back to Austin proved to be such a challenge. Some would say I went through a minor depression (to which I would agree) but I never let myself fail. I continued to stay on track health wise, and put a smile on my face every chance I got.

Needless to say the job didn't last for long. The day after I decided to quit I felt like everything began falling into place:

• I graduated (walked the stage, rather)
• I signed up to take my exam to become a certified personal trainer 
• I met with an Arbonne Consultant to being my own Arbonne business 
• I went to San Antonio for a week to decompress...theeeen!
• I landed a new job as a chiropractor assistant at a chiropractic office in West Austin with the help of my cousin. 

To say everything happens for a reason is an understatement. Believing in God's time is the best advice, and the hardest advice I could ever give, receive, and live out. After five months of undesirable stress, heartache, and angst, things have finally started falling into place and I'm happier than I've ever been! I've been working on steps to further my future and happiness which include continuing to workout, reading and blogging...again, motivating others to achieve their goals, and most importantly praying everyday! 

The view from my morning run...trying to!